Check it out, our good sponsored friends at CardRunners like to get a little creative sometimes — making poker training videos that hardly show cards. This one will be extra entertaining for those of you who recognize the name Ernest Thayer.

More nice work from JimmyLegs, aka John Wray.

Have a look at some of CR’s premier filmmaker’s efforts to enjoy himself while making videos generally of online poker screens.

That, of course, is all the more reason for you to sign up and give the training videos at CardRunners a try.

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Here’s a story I heard the other night … like much of what we report here, I have no idea whether or not it’s true. My source on this is generally reliable, and he heard it once-removed from some “online pro” who was in a bathroom stall at the Rio to overhear the following …

(And even if it’s totally made up, I’m sure there’s a funny joke in here somewhere … and Sam and Eskimo can consider it a public service graciously provided by Pokerati to let them know what kinda trash people may or may not be saying.)

So supposedly, just a few days ago, Sam Grizzle and Eskimo Clark were in the indoor bathroom outside the Amazon Room taking a leak during a break. Eskimo apparently asked Sam how he was doing, and vice versa … both grunted.

Then Eskimo asked, “You wanna trade 10 percent in this event?” (I believe it was a $1,500 NL) and Sam apparently agreed, saying, “Sure, why not?”

Sam then washed his hands and left, at which point another player said to Eskimo, “Hey Paul, did you just swap with Sam on the $1,500? He just busted out 10 minutes ago!”

At which point Eskimo responded, “That’s OK. I never even registered.”

[Rimshot!]

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As you may or may not have realized, I took it extra easy today (yesterday) … left KevMath in charge.

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It takes a special white man to be able to make slavery jokes … but hey, that’s the kind of breaking down of barriers that becomes possible when you gamble for reparations.

Funny tweet from @brokelivingJRB:

Doyle joked with Ivey about how nice it would’ve been if Phil had been on his plantation 200 years ago. Phils’ response: there’d a been a bunch of black baby Brunsons running around. Lmao

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Once upon a time, February 27, was perhaps more important to the poker blogosphere than 4/20. You’d see the pokergeeky intertubes go nuts over the date representing a dream flop for those of us who like to raise from early position with 2-7 offsuit. But after so many years — and perhaps just an economic necessity of grinding in the Obama era — has the Hammer lost its luster?

It’s still been fascinating to watch the mainstreaming of a hand over the years. I hope I don’t get crucified for disparaging the sacred 7-deuce (as no longer seen on High Stakes Poker) … but perhaps the jumping-the-shark moment for the Hammer came when UB took it on?

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Details still coming it … but so far it sounds like the feel-good poker robbery of the year:

Last night two masked, pistol-wielding youngins reportedly ganked about $7,000 from a NL Hold’em game of mostly retired old-school Texas rounders (ages 50something to 80something) on the rural outskirts of Dallas.

But sprinting across a rain-soaked pasture to a presumed getaway vehicle, the wannabe bandits apparently spooked some horses … one thing led to another … and with sirens in the background getting louder, two players chasing after them had their own guns pointed at the armed robbers as they lay in a field. According to a source on the scene, the de-facto table sheriffs disarmed their assailants in a hailstorm of expletives, pulled off their masks, and grabbed back the moneybag while waiting for police. (Half the cash was missing, and what was still there was soaking wet.)

Seagoville PD arrived soon after and arrested the two “very young” white males the players had captured.

After talking to police, players returned to the tables and action resumed.

More TK as details emerge …

UPDATE: Info on arrested persons here.

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A wise underground poker room operator once advised me (shortly before his room got raided) that every economic bubble burstage in history (or fall from grace) is predicated by luxe so redick, displays so over-the-top … well you can’t really define it, but you’ll know it when you see it … and that’s when it’s all about to come to an end.

In early ’08, the new 24-karat gold-plated Trump Tower began offering $1,000 spa days, complete with massages rubbing you down in emerald, ruby, or diamond dust (depending on how much you wanted to pay).

Now you can get it all for a bargain:

Local Gemstone Dream
For the month of July only enjoy a Signature 90-min Gemstone massage. This therapeutic massage uses oils from Dubai which are infused with gemstones that you can see in the bottle! A powerful mixture of herbs blended with specific massage techniques help to promote physical and mental well-being. This exclusive massage is only done at The Spa at Trump. Monday through Thursday, with a local ID you may try it for only $99 (regularly priced at $275).

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Inspiring shit over at Tao of Poker — with reports from the LAPT’s ill-fated venture into Nuevo Vallarta. Shame on me for not considering the imminent dangers … as I forgot whom we’re dealing with here:

Someone suggested that we remove our badges. For a couple of moments, I was on edge and extremely concerned at the safety of Change100 and myself and my fellow media reps like Owen, Otis, Joe, Alex, and everyone else. I never thought that I’d get tossed into prison in Mexico for a non-drug charge. Then I got really freaked out. The federalies wouldn’t throw me in jail. They’d whack me. Journalists are the enemy in third world countries and forty-five journalists were killed in Mexico since 2000. According to Reporters without Borders, Mexico is considered the most dangerous country for journalists with the exception of Iraq.

In the end there would be no gunfire, but a tense standoff between an international poker company and a shady second-world gov creates a pretty dramatic look at the sociopoliticonomic world we live in — with nearly a million dollars in play, one side walks into a trap, while the other shoots itself in the foot … everyone else scrambles in the crossfire.

Click here to get the full story of Otis’ Amazing 35th Birthday Party.

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I caught a glimpse of the economic crunch on the streets of Las Vegas. Construction projects halted. Rusted steel beams shot out of concrete blocks on unfinished architectural superstructures. The vertical ghost towns cluttered the Las Vegas skyline. The illumination of Sin City, once glorious and majestic as the morning light at the dawn of the new day, has been dulled by a morass of financial gloom, so much so that even the languorous hookers were bitching. Shit, everyone was bitching. Cocktail waitresses. Poker dealers. Cab drivers. Valets. And even the crackling snaps of pamphlets from the porn slappers seem a little sullen these days.

– Tao of Poker

You know what, fuck this “Pauly’s the Hunter Thompson of Poker” shit. Woo-woo, I’m a tortured writer who does lots of drugs to share my twisted vision of the world with the world [/whine] … all so you’ll play $10 tournaments on PokerStars … Saturday’s with Dr. Pauly! — and then we can bet more on FantasySportsLive! [/excitement] It’s seems to me like a pathetic cover for life as a (balding) professional shill.

OK, maybe I’m just bitter — because one of my best pals called me a “cooler”. Do you realize how damaging that can be to a guy who scratches out his living as “The Ernest Hemingway of Gambling” a casino hanger-on? Granted, it really did happen for like 6 hands in a row that whomever I stood behind was guaranteed to lose at pai gow — and when I courteously left to play craps for the first time in two years, not only did I blow $93 in about 7 minutes, but also I literally killed the table … messed up a “hot roller” by improperly placing a bet and impeding a flying die with my hand … re-roll … and from there it was craps, craps, craps — seven out — until all the other players left the table rolling their eyes in gambler’s disgust. Ha-ha, luck is funny.

But all is not fun and games here in Vegas these days — in America, really; but the morale-shift seems accentuated in Sin City, where just about every hooker has lost at least one home in the desert suburbs to foreclosure. So it’s not all about me, but I get to be the Set-up Guy (nice) … and it’s definitely not all about poker: DPauly just happens to be journaling life on a road speckled with tables, where he sees the American lives in the face of severe economic downturn — the human condition amid stormy weather — as revealed ever clearly through the teats and mouths of an aggressive pack of 3rd Millineium Mary Magdalenes.

An especially worthwhile two-part read this week on Tao of Poker.

And, of course, though not as good (my appearance didn’t make the cut), you can get the audiobook version here.

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The story of Jimmy Chagra’s life is a colorful one, to say the least. His early years included a heavy investment in the drug business, high-stakes gambling, which included poker with the likes of Doyle Brunson and Chip Reese, and crime.

It was the drug trade that seemed to make Jimmy’s word go ’round. By all accounts, he took his drug profits to the casinos and lost large sums of money at the poker and gaming tables, then made it all back with drugs – living on the edge in a whirlwind of activity that finally took him to prison. He plead guilty to charges of heading up an assassination attempt on the Assistant US Attorney in 1978, and he was alleged to have set up another hit – this one successful – on Judge Wood, the man who handed down his first prison sentence. The story gained great publicity because the hit man supposedly hired by Jimmy was Charles Harrelson, father of actor Woody Harrelson.

Jimmy’s prison stint was finally ended in 2003 for health reasons, and he was placed in the Federal Witness Protection Program. But living in hiding didn’t sit well with the notorious criminal/gambler because he showed up at the 2007 WSOP to play a little and conduct a few interviews.

His sister reported that Jimmy died on August 19 at the age of 63 after a battle with cancer.

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You’ve probably seen this already, but in case you haven’t … lots of dumb gamblers* these days:

Like the guy who tried to bet a different kind of greenies:

And then there was this guy, who called 911 with a claim that a slot machine stole his money.

* “gamblers” is a term we can expect to see/hear more and more in the (non-poker) media as the election nears, generally referring pejoratively to a class of citizens who are presumed to be bad people.

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With all the attention on the UB/Absolute scandal today, I thought I’d offer some perspective on non-poker scandals. And since poker is a “sport” …

Sports Illustrated/CNN have compiled a photo gallery representing the 13 biggest “Gambling Scandals in Sports.” (No, UB and Absolute didn’t make the list.)

The scandals date from the Black Sox of 1919 (when the Chicago White Sox famously threw the World Series) to the NBA referee (Tim Donaghy) who pleaded guilty to accepting money from a gambler. Basketball was the most offending sport, with six of the 13 spots on the list (46%). Boston College has the dubious honor of being listed twice (for basketball in the late ’70s and football in the mid ’90s).

The last item on the list (which appears to be in no particular order) is about former NHL player Rick Tocchet, who has played in a major poker tournament or two.

Check out the full list here. (Keep in mind that this list only includes gambling scandals, and not cheating scandals in general.)

I find it interesting that while individual players must live with the consequences for decades (Pete Rose, Shoeless Joe Jackson, etc.), the organizations that allowed such cheating to take place usually pay only a short-term penalty before returning to full respectability.

It’s not a perfect parallel to the UB/Absolute scandal, but I think it’s relevant. It’s possible that after a few years, this scandal may be nothing more than a footnote to those two companies. What do you think?

If you find sports scandals boring, you can always check out SI’s second-most popular gallery (at the moment): “The Best 1980s Swimsuits,” with a vintage Christie Brinkley SI cover in the leadoff spot. In middle school, I claimed that my initials stood for “Billy Joel,” and he was my uncle. He married Christie later that year, and my popularity soared. Wait … swimsuit photos? Am I blogging for Pokerati or Wicked Chops?

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photo: Flipchip / LasVegasVegas

Good thing Michael DeMichele didn’t win, or the inscription “Standing the Test of Time” might seem a little presumptuous.

Chuck in Fort Worth writes in with some kudos and a question about the Chip Reese HORSE trophy. I do not know the answer, but I am betting somebody Kevmath does.

Hey Dan,

As like all your other Texas poker god-children I have enjoyed following the WSOP on Pokerati along with your interesting and lively commentary. I have a question that I am sure you can answer for me. I am some what of a trivia buff and enjoy storing meaningful but otherwise useless information in my brain. What is the significance of the hand on the Chip Reese H.O.R.S.E. Trophy, 4 4 7 7 A. Is that the hand that won the tournament for Chip Reese in 2006? Just curious. Hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks for writing in, Chuck. From what I understand the intent of the trophy is to make it sort of a Stanley Cup of Poker. We’ll see if that works — frankly I think that will be difficult because it has too many sharp edges, looks to be awkwardly weighted, and is made of metal that is more likely to break than bend. The Stanley Cup is the Stanley Cup, after all, not only because it is hoisted/passed around by full teams — hey, I suppose that’s another issue altogether if, say, Full Tilt had it one year, Ultimate Bet another — but also because it can be dented when taken to a party with Pantera thrown off a balcony into a pool. Those sorts of legends will be hard to create with this award … but still, it’s a good to have, I can only presume.

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My poker pal Jim Killeen first parlayed his poker winnings into a successful chair massage business at the Commerce Casino and now has gone big time and made a movie. Always breaking the mold, Jim’s movie is available to watch for free on YouTube. Tom and I watched it recently on the drive from Phoenix to Las Vegas and both enjoyed it. Angry Julie, not so much. If you happen to watch it, let me know what you think.

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Sorry for the lack of personal postage last week and presumably this one … I have gotten caught up in the housing crisis and am moving again over the next couple days … even though I don’t know where yet. Seriously, housing crisis is very real here — our friends at The Poker Atlas were forced to relocate due to the house they were renting going into foreclosure; Rounder Club West got evicted from their digs a couple weeks ago because their landlord decided to desperately sell. When this sorta thing happens to three homes in an isolated niche, it can’t just be coincidental.

Anyhow, so yes, content … sorry for the lack thereof and sorry for the blog-cliche post about being sorry. There’s still plenty going on out there that the poker-minded populace shouldmaybe care about, regardless of my personal battle against homelessness.

As we know, the US is currently trying to figure out how to enforce the UIGEA — the AMERICAN BANKS say they can’t really do it — so now, instead of rewriting our own bad laws, we are pressuring the UK to change theirs.

And here’s an article about EL PASO’S rich gambling history – underground or not — over the past 100+ years, starting with a mayor in 1895 known as “Poker Bob” Campbell.

A NEW BLOG (to me) I am now following semi-regularly: David Matthews’ Gambling in Space.

Through him, I learned about FRANK GAGLIARDI, a California Lottery winner who also likes to gamble and recently won his very relevant (to me and you) court case vs. the IRS:

If this case stands, then it could effectively rewrite tax law and make it easier for gamblers to report losses and more difficult for the IRS to go after gamblers.

BALLY TECHNOLOGY also won a pretty big case in court — against SHUFFLE MASTER, which up to this point has maintained an expensive stranglehold on the automatic shufflers you see in poker tables.

And CALIFORNIA JEN may have loved the poker mockumentary THE GRAND, but not everybody did.

Crap, that’s hardly everything, but I have to run …

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TJ Cloutier’s latest column … an interesting if not prescient tale of some poker southern-circuit old-timers that include a game-runner who takes an extra rake right under someone’s nose ($100 a pop); a bookie sent to jail and kicked out of Dallas, Hazzard County-style; and legendary players with a not-so-unique philosophy on credit and debt.

Considering that TJ has been running good of late — and they don’t have craps in Oklahoma — I can’t help but give some thought to the road-gambler ethos he extols, and wonder where it fits in today’s contemporary poker economy:

“I’ve still got 30 days to pay that off,” Jack said, “so quit bothering me.” And the guy left. As the first man was going down the stairs, a second man was walking up them. The door was still open, so Jack let him in.

“I’m down on my luck,” the man cries to Jack. “Could you loan me $10,000 till I get back on my feet?” And Jack peeled the ten grand right out of his pocket and gave it to him! I couldn’t explain Jack Straus any better than telling this story.

One time when we were on the golf course, Straus told me that he liked me because I was like him. “I’m broke one day and have a fortune the next day,” he said, “and I don’t give a damn.”

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One poker-related legislative measure that did make it out of the House and seems likely to be passed by the Senate is HCR 109 — a “concurrent resolution” officially recognizing Robstown, Texas (near Corpus Christi) as the birthplace of Texas Hold’em.

Not sure what the role of these resolutions really are — but I think any that get this far pretty much pass with zero debate since they don’t grant any sorta additional rule-making authority nor relegate funds in any way. So assuming this feel-good-for-Robstown declaration passes — along with resolutions to designate the bolo as the official state tie, and the boot as the official state shoe (scroll down to the bottom) — well … nothing changes.

At least not right now.

But I gotta think any future efforts to legalize poker in Texas stand to benefit from Abel Herrero’s political warm-fuzzy to get some gung-ho Texas poker pride written into the books.

a successful hold’em player relies on reason, intuition, and bravado, and these same qualities have served many notable Texans well throughout the proud history of the Lone Star State

Click below to read the whole resolution. It paints quite the interesting story — and could have a hypermajority of representatives from both parties technically saying “Yay!” to charity poker, online play, and $10,000 events while also acknowledging the “game of skill” concept.

(Has to be, right? If not, why are so many Texans so good yeee-haw!)

More…

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Has anyone seen this? For those of you who don’t have the INHD channel (which, sadly, doesn’t feature any Robert Wilsonky programming), Antonio Esfandiari and Phil Laak have a new show oh-so-cleverly called I Bet You.

The premise is exactly what you’d expect: They walk around betting thousands of dollars on completely inane bullshit. They bet on how much a shirt costs. They bet on whether a girl they meet on the street is wearing a thong or “regular panties.” They bet on who can be the best bartender and, later, who can get drunk and blow closest to .08 on a breathalyzer. All of which should provide for fun, rollicking scenes complete with plenty of spontaneous comedy. Instead, sitting through the half-hour show is like listening to Jamie Gold—it’s painful, and you don’t really want to do it, but you’re sure it’ll get better eventually so you stick it out. But it doesn’t get better. Trust me.

More…

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Semi-related … Click here to read Hellmuth’s firsthand account of losing $500,000 to Ivey in Chinese poker.

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Phil Ivey may be kicking poker-player butt on the golf course, but not so against everyone all the time. Just last week he was supposedly playing a rematch against NBA legend Michael Jordan (aka the Doyle Brunson of Basketball). Not sure where or who won how much this time, but just two weeks prior, the twosome were at it on a golf course in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico — according to a presumably reliable secondhand source — and Ivey lost $250,000.

One possibility is that Ivey sees golf-gambling with Jordan as a win-win … even if he loses on the links, Ivey’s having a good time with MJ while bilking him for all the knowledge, wisdom, and marketing genius that “the greatest” in a far-bigger-than-poker game might have to offer. That could be worth millions.

The other possibility, of course, is that Ivey is simply running the classic hustle on even richer guys who are more likely to pay up. (Also potentially worth millions.)

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